Twin Tuesdays: Eight rules for traveling with toddlers

We just got back from a lovely wedding weekend in the Catskills (pics tomorrow!) - Jack and Nellie's first wedding and our first time bringing them anywhere without a family member to put the adult-to-kid ratio in our favor. We danced, we ate, we played peek-a-boo; yes, it was all fun and games until two babies decided they'd rather sleep with mom and dad than in their pack n plays. Here's an unofficial list of our rules for traveling with toddlers (by car...we haven't flown with them, yet!):

1. Travel at night or during naps. When J and N were teeny, we learned quickly that the best time to drive up to my visit my family in Boston was after we'd "put them to bed" in their car seats. It almost always makes for seamless travel. If traveling at night isn't going to work, we leave just before nap time. J and N are down to one nap now, and the trip up to the Catskills fit perfectly into their schedule. We strayed from this idea twice in their lives and let's just say we got to know the rest stops along I-95 reallllly well.

2. Keyword: early. Get started on packing early. (We didn't do this for Catskills trip and there was a lot of scrambling on Saturday morning...especially because I decided to color my hair that day. Not recommended.) Pack up the car early. (We usually do a lot of it the night before.) Leave early. (Plan to. Because then you'll end up leaving on time.) The early bird catches the worm...or in this case, the early bird maintains her sanity.

3. Pick your battles. At home, we have pretty set rules about eating (three meals, one if-necessary snack), sleeping (in their own cribs for the night at 7:30 p.m.), schedules (J and N have been on the same exact schedule since day one), screen time (very, very limited unless mama needs a second or dada needs to watch the Daily Show while ironing his pants), and pacifiers (only for sleeping and riding in the car). But if we're on a trip and the only way to calm them down is to let them eat Cheddar Bunnies in our bed while watching HGTV, then so be it. That's why they call it vacation.

4. Be prepared! (But don't overdo it.) We have two toddlers, so it's hard to miss us when we roll into town. It would be super easy for us to take over a couple dozen square feet of space wherever we go, if we didn't pare down. Again, we learned from experience...the first time we visited my parents with the twins, we didn't use 99% of the stuff we brought (this includes the 857 outfits we thought were necessary for our three night stay). Try to develop a sense of exactly what your babies need when you go out of town - their blankies, sippy cups, one or two favorite toys, a new (or travel-only) toy for those moments when you need to bring out the big guns, a full diaper bag, one or two extra outfits just in case, etc. I am proud to say that it only took us 14 months to finally get it right...ok, well, to get this part right. (See #2...)

5. Manage your expectations. This one sort of goes without saying, but it's so hard to follow. For this particular trip, Evan and I totally expected meltdowns and early departures from the wedding; we actually planned for it and had contingencies set up just in case. So we were pleasantly surprised when Saturday's rehearsal dinner went off without a hitch and the twins had the time of their life. On Sunday, I did leave the wedding "early" with J and N (around 9 p.m.) but it was something we'd discussed beforehand, so it was fine. We weren't expecting perfection, so we ended up having a great time and going with the flow.

6. Depend on the kindness of strangers...and those closest to you. I'm not great at asking for help, and my husband is even less so. But we've learned that you really can't take two toddlers on a trip without a little assistance. It's great when we visit family - there's always someone (aka, my mom and dad) on the other end to meet us and take care of Evan and I just as much as the twins. But if you look around, people are always willing to lend a hand, even if they're just helping you get through a door. There was a moment at the rehearsal dinner this weekend where I was holding a friend's nine-month-old (hey, pay it forward) and Evan was helping J and N eat their dinner when I laughed and said, "See! We could totally have another baby...we'd just have to bring all of them with us wherever we go." I was referring to Evan's guys and their wives and girlfriends, who helped us get through the weekend by entertaining the babies, carrying stuff for us, and bringing us wine whenever we needed it. I felt like it was the first time neither Evan nor I said "no" to any offer to help, and it just made everything go so much smoother.

7. Don't forget the gear. Comfy car seat and stroller that folds down to fit in your glove compartment? Check. We also recommend portable high chairs, like our Inglesina Fast Chair that we're completely obsessed with. We've used it everywhere - grandparents' house, restaurants, rest stops, wedding reception. It clips onto the table and is comfortable and sturdy. And I like that it puts toddlers at a better height than those wooden restaurant high chairs. My friend Emily recommends taking your iPad and queueing up some Sesame Street. Great for the car and as a distraction when you're trying to pack at the hotel and someone starts to hate hanging out in the pack n play. We make sure to bring our white noise machine and the baby monitor - which we don't even use at home anymore, but it can really come in handy when your toddler is sleeping in a "strange" place.

8. Milk, water, and Cheerios. Yes, you're probably going to have a cranky babe on your hands if this is all they consume all day. But if you're not going too far off the grid (we were in the mountains with no cell phone reception and it worked for us) and you only remember these three items (you can substitute Cheerios for another easy-to-pack snack), your toddler will survive until the next meal, even if it's a little later than they normally eat. Seriously, it will be fine.

What about you guys? Any brilliant tips to add? Where have you traveled with your toddler(s), anywhere good? We're dying to take them on a bigger trip. Maybe in the fall. Maybe when they're high school...