Twelve years

Twelve years and two months ago, I moved into my first apartment in Manhattan, on the Upper West Side around the corner from Fairway. I didn't think life could get any better, or any more New York. I was in the land of Zabar's, Lincoln Center, and Central Park; any store I could think of was within walking distance; any kind of food I fancied could be delivered to my door; every bar was open till 4 a.m.

When you're 22 and living in New York City for the first time, these are things that matter, the things you think you'll never forget. You're in the Greatest City in the World. Life is like a Meg Ryan movie: every ride on the subway is an adventure, every cup of coffee is romantic, every stroll through a city park, a revelation. To 22-year-old me, tragedy meant breaking up with a boyfriend or bouncing a rent check or forgetting to send out a press release for my boss; I didn't expect anything worse would happen during my first year as a New Yorker.

It's hard for me to talk about 9/11, it always has been. I worked in the Mayor's Office for four years, often writing about the attack, and every word I came up with - and every word I read and edited - never made sense. It all sounded silly, cliche, and I'm so sad that it still does. Nothing I could ever say or write could express what happened, or what it was like to experience the attack from 25 or so blocks away. What's worse is, I've found myself insensitively cringing and rolling my eyes at other people's words; but at the core, I know I'm just yearning to be able to talk about it so freely. I wish I could remember without feeling like I want to completely shut down because I've just been punched repeatedly in the stomach. So instead I pretend that I've moved on, and that it's "cheesy" and "folksy" to discuss 9/11 with any kind of emotion, when really, I don't want to hear about it because I'm still not sure how to process it.

Someday I'll have to tell Jack and Nellie about what happened, and I hope I eventually find the words. Will I tell them every detail? Probably not. I'll be sure to tell them how Grumps (Evan's dad) helped me whip up a huge batch of spaghetti and meatballs for dinner that night; Evan's parents had a few friends who lived near the World Trade Center, and we welcomed them with open arms because they weren't able to go home. I'll most likely leave out how sore I felt waking up on September 12, not realizing that I'd spent the entire previous day tense with fear.

But what I'd really want them to know is that their mother, who had moved to Manhattan a just a few months earlier, a silly 22-year-old girl with dreams of being a famous writer and perhaps marrying Ben Affleck (no, really), officially became a New Yorker that day. 9/11 broke my heart, but being in Manhattan this time twelve years ago also made me see what really made New York City the greatest.

A few things for your Friday afternoon

We have a busy, busy weekend ahead of us: Evan is a groomsman in his friend Mike's wedding, so I'm getting ready to party down three nights in a row (starting tonight with his fiancee Emily's bachelorette party). I'm also getting my first haircut in four months...yahoo!!

We're also apparently going to have to give our daughter another lesson in why she can't always have All the Things. (See above.) The twosome are officially 18-month-olds in every way.

I hope you're all enjoying this autumn preview we're having in the northeast; it's perfect wedding (and hair) weather, so I'm pretty psyched about it. Have a lovely weekend, and if you do nothing else today...

1. Order this. I've been a fan of Dinner a Love Story for a little while now, and I just bought their fantastic cookbook. It's a gem - and so helpful to have all these great dinner ideas in one place.

2. Read this and this.

3. And this, if you haven't already.

4. Oh, and this, because it's hysterical.

Lastly, get up and go outside. Right now. You will not be sorry. And if you're reading this from downtown Manhattan, where I spent so many years running out for a coffee on perfect Friday afternoons like this, make your way to the Seaport, get a cup from here, walk towards the water and just enjoy the view. For me.

Happy Friday, my sweets!!!

Back at it

During our morning walk today, there was the slightest hint of autumn in the air, making me feel like I always do this time of year: alive, giddy, a bit nostalgic. It's September, can you believe it? I've missed writing these past few weeks, but it's been kind of wonderful to completely veg out and embrace the late-August doldrums. Here's a quick rundown of what's been going on:

Goods: Follow me on Pinterest and Twitter! I can be found at gndgoods. Also, if you haven't liked my Facebook page, please do.

Tots: Jack and Nellie will be 18 months old on Friday, and it's blowing my mind. These days it's all about balls, trucks, babies, dogs, shoes, and body parts. Nellie has become obsessed with wearing my scarves, Jack has discovered that hiding under his crib is hilarious. They each say a handful of words, though their speech mostly reminds me of the Friends episode where Phoebe tries to teach Joey how to speak French.

Food: I have some yummy recipes coming up, including one for stuffed zucchini. Evan and I are trying to eat a little healthier these days, I'll be writing about that soon, too. We also managed to get out for a few dinners with friends last month (we love date nights, but sometimes double date nights are even better if it means catching up with old buddies) - can't wait to tell you all about the tasty.

Home: The house search is still on, but we've finally decided that Pelham Manor is where we want to end up. It's super cute, great schools, and it's the closest you can get to the city while still being in Westchester County. So now I'm constantly daydreaming about backyard parties and an eat-in kitchen...

TV: I'm excited for the new season to start but until then, I'm re-watching old episodes of Gilmore girls. The show is so cozy, like your favorite cardigan and a warm cup of tea on a September afternoon.

Books: I recently finished reading Top of the Rock: Inside the Rise and Fall of Must See TV, which was the perfect August book for a TV nerd. Next up is Sisterland by Curtis Sittenfeld (I loved Prep and American Wife). This one also looks interesting.

Fabulousness: I'm a sucker for fall fashion, mostly because I look good in rich colors and with my arms covered. Saving for a house and spending most of the time at the playground means I'm not really in the market for a new wardrobe, but I do love these Madewell flats, pictured above.

Hope you all had a lovely August and that you're as excited about fall as I am. It's good to be back!

Dinner tonight: A midsummer night's meal

Tomatoes, basil, mint, lemon...I might complain about the heat, but I'm definitely enjoying summer's bounty of vegetables and fruit. Last night, after a particularly long day with the tots (ahh, the adventures of bringing two seventeen-month-olds to Fort Greene Park), Evan walked in expecting me to say, "I'm not cooking tonight, what do you want to order?" (He actually walked into a post-bath scene of Jack running naked down the hall and Nellie screaming because, instead of letting her join her brother, I was trying to strap a diaper on her before she peed.) He was pleasantly surprised when I started whipping up an insanely easy dinner that left us both nom-om-om-ing at the table.

The salad: bufala mozzarella and mini red and golden tomatoes with olive oil, sea salt, and basil. Come on now. Thank you Bon Appetit, for the inspiration.

The pasta: linguine with pea and mint pesto. The always helpful Dinner a Love Story was responsible for this deliciousness, though next time I think I'd zap the peas in the microwave to get them really soft before giving them a whirl in the food processor (theirs looks much more green velvet than mine, and I can only guess it's because of softer peas).

The wine: a crisp gruner veltliner from the Wachau region in Austria. It's specifically from the Nikolaihof vineyards, where I visited during my quarter abroad in Vienna; I actually squealed when I discovered the new wine shop near us carried it.

Best part? Tons of leftovers for the tot dinner the next day. 

Except for the wine. That's mama's.